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There is a wall that separates each of us from our most important goals in life. The strange thing about this wall is that it is a barrier which we create for ourselves.

We construct this wall in our minds using bricks of doubt and fear.

Let’s take a look at how this wall is created:

When you set a new goal, it is natural to have a small amount of doubt about your ability to achieve your objective.

Initially as you start to work on your goal, you get a boost of self confidence because you are taking action and your level of doubt decreases. However, after you’ve worked on your goal for a little while, you come to the Point of Clarity.

The Point of Clarity is the point at which you first fully understand how much work and effort is actually involved with achieving your goal. It is usually at this point that the bricks of doubt and fear start to build.

The next thing that happens is that you encounter a significant problem and immediately your doubts and fears increase which adds to number of bricks in your wall.

You then become aware of another problem:

And then problems seem to come at you from every direction

With each problem you encounter, your doubts and fears increase. You start thinking things like:

“I’m not smart enough to do this”
“I’m not capable of doing this”
“I don’t have what it takes to achieve this”
“I’m too old for this”
“I’m too young for this”
etc.

If you ever catch yourself saying things like this, it’s important to remember that

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubts.” – Author Unknown

Unfortunately, many people give so much power to their doubts that the wall in their mind becomes insurmountable and they walk away from their dream.

However, something truly remarkable happens to the small group of people who continue to meet these problems head on and persevere in the face of adversity.

Eventually they come to realize that facing and solving these problems is an important part of the process of achieving their goal. With experience they also realize that they ARE capable of meeting and overcoming these challenges.

With this realization, they cross over to the Point of Self-Confidence

Once you reach the Point of Self Confidence, everything changes.

You continue to face problems, but now each problem you solve makes you more confident in your ability and you begin to eliminate the bricks of doubt and fear from your mind.

You solve a problem and remove a layer of bricks

Then you solve another problem

Each time you solve a problem your remove another layer of doubt and fear.

Finally you solve the last problem that stands between you and your goal – Your self confidence soars and the final bricks of doubt and fear disappear.

You then look back to ... (全文...)

Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there's always some brave soul in the crowd who will volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list. The instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communications, having visions of alienating just about everyone from my life.
The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story:

"While making my list, I remembered an incident from high school. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. There was a sheriff in town that none of us kids liked. One night, my two buddies and I decided to play a trick on Sheriff Brown. After drinking a few beers, we found a can of red paint, climbed the tall water tank in the middle of town, and wrote, on the tank, in bright red letters: Sheriff Brown is an s.o.b. The next day, the town arose to see our glorious sign. Within two hours, Sheriff Brown had my two pals and me in his office. My friends confessed and I lied, denying the truth. No one ever found out.

"Nearly 20 years later, Sheriff Brown's name appears on my list. I didn't even know if he was still alive. Last weekend, I dialed information in my hometown back in Iowa. Sure enough, there was a Roger Brown still listed. I dialed his number. After a few rings, I heard: `Hello?' I said: `Sheriff Brown?' Pause. `Yup.' `Well, this is Jimmy Calkins. And I want you to know that I did it.' Pause. `I knew it!' he yelled back. We had a good laugh and a lively discussion. His closing words were: `Jimmy, I always felt badly for you because your buddies got it off their chest, and I knew you were carrying it around all these years. I want to thank you for calling me...for your sake.'"

Jimmy inspired me to clear up all 101 items on my list. It took me almost two years, but became the springboard and true inspiration for my career as a conflict mediator. No matter how difficult the conflict, crisis or situation, I always remember that it's never too late to clear up the past and begin resolution.

　

By Marilyn Manning

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Sedro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, "I want to tell you why I let Jack use my house. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from farm and ranch-to-ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy's high school career was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

"That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on the 200-acre dream ranch.

"He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, 'See me after class.'

"The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, 'Why did I receive an F?'
"The teacher said, 'this is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money.

You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you'll have to pay large stud fees. There's no way you could ever do it.' Then the teacher added, 'If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.'

"The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, 'Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.'

"Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all. He stated, 'You can keep the F and I'll keep my dream.'"

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, "I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace." He added, "The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same school-teacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week."

When the teacher was leaving, he said, 'Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids' dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.'"

Don't let anyone steal your dreams. Follow your heart, no matter what.

"We are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book whose pages are infinite---"

I do not know who wrote those words, but I have always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want to make it. We can take the mysterious, hazy future and carve out of it anything that we can imagine, just like a sculptor carves a statue from a shapeless stone.

We are all in the position of the farmer. If we plant a good seed, we reap a good harvest. If our seed is poor and full of weeds, we reap a useless crop. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.

I want the future to be better than the past. I don't want it contaminated by the mistakes and errors with which history is filled. We should all be concerned about the future because that is where we will spend the reminder of our lives.

The past is gone and static. Nothing we can do will change it. The future is before us and dynamic. Everything we do will effect it. Each day will brings with it new frontiers, in our homes and in our businesses, if we will only recognize them. We are just at the beginning of the progress in every field of human endeavor.